How is the portrait of my mother coming along?
Tone: absurd
Absurd jokes, weird logic, surreal memes, and nonsense that somehow files taxes from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Missile Sites Happy to See Him
As the F-14 screamed through the desert air, the pilot eyed the rising launcher ramps and wondered yet again if the missile sites were a genuine threat or merely happy to see him.
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Giant Robotic Parrot
If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that my idea for melting down coins to make a giant robotic parrot was a bad idea, I would have one kickass giant robotic parrot.
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Neckwear for an Octopus
When choosing neckwear for an octopus, a bow tie is the way to go. A long tie is just likely to get tangled in the tentacles. Plus, most octopi believe that a bow tie makes them look like eccentric intellectuals rather than slimy cephalopods.
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He’s Not Even A Member Of This Club.
Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball, suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his privates. ‘He’s not my husband,’ she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down as he’s passing. ‘He’s not my husband either.’
She says, also not recognizing the unit. He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. ‘Wait a minute,’ she says. ‘He’s not even a member of this club.’
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Good Luck Mr Gorsky
Astronaut Neil Armstrong’s enigmatic remark ‘Good luck, Mr. Gorsky’ during the Apollo mission has puzzled many for years.
When asked about it decades later, Armstrong finally revealed the story behind his mysterious words.
As a kid, Armstrong was playing baseball in his backyard when a fly ball landed near his neighbor’s window.
The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he overheard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at her husband, ‘Oral sex? You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!’
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Hypnotize a Cat
Cats aren’t so damn superior. Heck, you can easily hypnotize one by dangling a shiny object in front of its eyes and giving it tuna… giving it tuna… must give the cat some tuna….
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Scientists Can Clone Sheep
I sleep better at night knowing that scientists can clone sheep.
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The Meaning of Cheese
When I stop to think about the meaning of life, I sometimes sigh and wonder if perhaps there’s more to all this than just the delicious taste of cheese and cheese-based products.
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Man in the Mirror
I heard Michael Jackson singing about the “Man in the Mirror.” What, was there somebody standing behind him?
