If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks.
It can cost you an arm and a leg.
Tone: dark humor
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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An arm and a leg
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It was a good trade
I got a refrigerator for my wife today.
It was a good trade. -
Farting in the Fast Lane!
A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around, not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally lets a fart go.
To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman heading her way. Hoping he didn’t hear her, she plays it cool and says, “Excuse me, how much is this car? I’m thinking of purchasing it for my husband.”
The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”
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Hold the Ladder: Last Words of Wisdom
I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words to me before he died:
“Are you still holding the ladder?” -
Grief Lessons: Good Counsel, No Tears
My grief councillor died last week.
Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.
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Stolen Antidepressants: Find Joy in My Pain
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
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Polish Women: Monthly Challenges and GED Tests
What’s long, hard and given to most Polish Women at Least once a month?
A GED Test
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Handshakes: Cannibals’ Party Starter!
What do cannibals serve at the start of a party?
Handshakes. -
Never Forget: A Witty Reminder
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget!!! -
Half a Worm: The Ultimate Disappointment!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
