A Russian spy, an American spy, and an Italian spy were captured by a terrorist organization and kept in the same cell.
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
If this whole Heath Ledger tragedy has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not the only
If this whole Heath Ledger tragedy has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not the only one who makes numerous inappropriate calls to Mary-Kate Olsen with a dead body in the room.
-
A dead camel with two humps may be in the shape of a heart, but it makes a poor Valentine.
A dead camel with two humps may be in the shape of a heart, but it makes a poor Valentine.
-
How many times does the world’s oldest man have to die before somebody takes this crisis
How many times does the world’s oldest man have to die before somebody takes this crisis seriously?!!
-
I’d like to send a picture of myself to some distant star, thousands of light-years
I’d like to send a picture of myself to some distant star, thousands of light-years away, because by the time the aliens realize I’m mooning them, I’ll have been dead for centuries.
-
Sometimes when I’m in a difficult situation I ask, “What Would Jesus Do?”
Sometimes when I’m in a difficult situation I ask, “What Would Jesus Do?” And always a little voice inside me answers, “Well, he probably wouldn’t try to cram *another* corpse into the crawl-space, moron.”
-
My grandfather lived to be over 100 years old, but I still feel that in an important way
My grandfather lived to be over 100 years old, but I still feel that in an important way he died too soon. If he could have waited until later in the week, I could’ve used the funeral to string together a three day weekend.
-
Some aspects of the Bible I find a little troubling.
Some aspects of the Bible I find a little troubling. For instance, if Jesus truly believed in non-violence, why did he destroy the Death Star?
-
With pilot-buying season coming up, I’m hoping CBS will greenlight “CSI: Boise,” because
With pilot-buying season coming up, I’m hoping CBS will greenlight “CSI: Boise,” because I relish the idea of seeing someone hacked to death over a stolen lawn gnome.
-
Live each moment as if it were your last.
Live each moment as if it were your last. Life becomes more enjoyable if you think you’re about to die.
