Joke Type: dark humor

Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • I Fucking Loved That Cat

    I Fucking Loved That Cat

    My Chinese neighbours had waffles for breakfast.

    Bastards I fucking loved that cat.

  • Immune to Yo Momma Jokes

    Immune to Yo Momma Jokes

    Me, a kid with two gay dads thinking I’m immune to “Yo momma” jokes:

    Yo momma so ugly, your dad had to get a husband

  • Jesus Invited Prostitutes to Dine With Him

    Jesus Invited Prostitutes to Dine With Him

    Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and he’s the light of the world, I do it and I’m “making Thanksgiving awkward.”

  • Fifty Bucks Is Fifty Bucks

    Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 bucks — and 50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

    One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, “Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

    Esther replied, “Morris, that helicopter is 50 bucks — and 50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

    The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you! But if you say one word, it’s 50 bucks.”

    Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”

    Morris replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know — 50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

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  • Ants in Your Pants

    What’s worse than ants in your pants?

    Uncles.

  • A Corvette and a Dead Hooker

    What’s the difference between a Corvette and a dead hooker?

    I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

  • Dead Baby in a Clown Suit

    What’s funnier than a dead baby?

    A dead baby in a clown suit.

  • The Difference Between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson

    What was the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucked kids.

  • Locking Your Keys in Your Car at an Abortion Clinic

    What’s more embarrassing than locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

  • Which Father Leaves

    If two gay Black men get married and adopt a baby, which father is supposed to abandon the family?