Mummy, can you
get pregnant
through anal sex?
Of course my child,
where do you think
politicians come
from?
Tone: darkly humorous
Darkly humorous humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A Question for Mummy
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Dating a Half Asian Girl
I’m dating a half asian girl
her mom is korean
and her dad is also korean
her legs were ripped off in a car accident -
The Walk Home
A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides, what the hell.
They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden, a light flashes on them. It’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop. “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” says the man, “to tell the truth, neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”
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The Scenic Drive
After coming home late, my wife was furious and asked where I was. I told her I was playing poker with my friends.
She refused to talk to me, so I took her out on a long scenic drive.
Her mood eventually improved, and looking out the window, she sighed, “What a beautiful view. I wish we could spend the rest of our lives right here.”
I said, “Well, your wish just came true… because you won’t believe what happened at poker.”
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Afternoon Tea With Cannibals
Two cannibal friends are sitting together over afternoon tea.
One looks across the table and asks, “Hey, I heard you and your boyfriend had a massive argument last night?”
“Oh, absolutely,” she replies. “It was dreadful.”
“So, where do things stand between you two now?”
She pauses, takes a delicate sip from her teacup, and says, “Well… right now, I’m just letting him stew.”
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Gender Is Like the Twin Towers
Jacob Manton
Dec 29, 2018 at 12:46 AM
Gender is like the twin towers
There used to be 2 and now it’s a sensitive subject -
Say what you will of the Nazis
Say what you will of the Nazis, but they did manage to do a lot of scientific research without harming any animals.
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If only Africa had more mosquito nets
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
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As Close As I’m Allowed to Get
I tried to come up with a joke about restraining orders. But this is as close as I’m allowed to get.
