My grief councillor died last week.
Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.
Tone: darkly humorous
Darkly humorous humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Love or Money? The Ex-Wife Dilemma
I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but that failed.
She figured out I was only after my money. -
Deadly Green Furry Pool Table Surprise!
What’s green and furry and has four legs and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you’ll die?
A pool table. -
Big Potatoes and Dirty Secrets!
Two Irish women were out in the field digging up potatoes.
One of them pulls out a huge one and says, “Ah, it’s just like my husband’s penis.”
The other gasps, “Oh? that big?”
The first shakes her head and says, “No. That dirty.” -
Nuns vs. Vampire: A Roadside Showdown!
Two nuns were out driving one night when a vampire jumped onto the hood of their car.
The first nun yelled to the second “Sister, show him your cross!”
So the second nun leaned out the window and screamed “Hey! Get the fuck off our car!” -
Signs I Missed: My Wife’s Silent Shift
My wife left me for a deaf guy.
I should have seen the signs. -
Temperature Check: Taste vs. Tradition!
What’s the difference between oral and rectal thermometers?
The taste. -
Half a Worm: The Ultimate Disappointment!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm. -
Ocean Depths: A Lawyer’s Ideal Ending!
What do you call 20 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
