Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Top 10 Signs You Just Bought a Lemon of a Car

    10. Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty garbage bags.

    9. The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.

    8. The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.

    7. The rear-view mirror says, “Objects in Mirror Are Better Than This Piece of Junk.”

    6. The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as the everyday abacus.

    5. Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway you’re taking.

    4. The sticker on the windshield says, “Batteries Not Included.”

    3. You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coals.

    2. You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.

    1. When you approach hitchhikers, they put their thumbs down.

  • Poop Deck Confusion Lands Lifetime Cruise Ban

    I haven’t been allowed back on a cruise ship ever since that whole ‘poop deck’ misunderstanding.

  • Wife’s Accidental Car Meeting Goes Wrong

    Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!”

    “How did you meet this fellow?” He asked, very concerned.

    She said, “Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the car.”

  • Hilarious Driving Test Pranks to Fail Spectacularly

    Have Fun While Taking a Driving Test

    1. Turn the radio on. When the tester goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.

    2. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look, “Buckle up!”

    3. Knock over every cone while doing maneuverability. In the middle of it, get out and check to see if you have hit every one.

    4. Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner gets in the car, ask him/her to put a piece of plastic wrap down so he doesn’t dirty the seat.

    5. When the examiner tells you to stop, step on the gas. Tell him/her that you thought it was the brake.

    6. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch and say “Oops.”

    7. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, “Now which one is the gas again?”

    8. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and check the oil.

    9. Fill your car with beer bottles.

    10. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs.

    11. Tell the registrar that you are taking the remedial test.

    12. In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.

    13. Swear at everybody on the road.

    14. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light.

    15. Beep your horn at everything.

    16. Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.

    Warning: If you wish to pass the test, refrain from doing more than two of these, and be sure to grin widely at the end.

  • Three Nervous Drivers Learn Basic Car Operations

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in Michigan, I’ve learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel. One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes. When the first student had completed his time, I asked him to change places with one of the others.

    Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, “Should I stop the car?”

  • Games You Can Play With Your Pussy

    Games You Can Play With Your Pussy

    GAMES YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR PUSSY

    “And Lots of Other Stuff Cat Owners Should Know

    APC

    3715 APC200

    MADE IN USA

  • I Feel Grate

    I Feel Grate

    I KNOW ITS CHEESY

    BUT I FEEL GRATE

  • E Afraid of W

    E Afraid of W

    Why was E afraid of W?

    Why?

    Because White

  • Ctrl Situation

    Ctrl Situation

    WORLD OF ENGINEERING

    Ctrl Situation

  • Introvert Uber Driver

    Introvert Uber Driver

    me, an introvert

    the uber driver who didn’t talk the entire ride