Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at my girlfriend’s breasts. Maybe I have A-rack-nophobia.
Tone: light-hearted
Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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There I was, about to impress this cute girl by signing an
There I was, about to impress this cute girl by signing an important historical document, when this dude came in and John Hancock-blocked me.
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American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle
American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle down, I’ll be looking for a woman who hails from Nicerackistan.
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It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
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I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns
I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns out I was at “poll” — not “pole” — headquarters.
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I guess I’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that, no
I guess I’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that, no matter how funny *I* think it is, my wife will never appreciate it when I let a few chocolate chips melt in my hand and ask her where the toilet paper is.
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(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas
(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas station restroom when you have to poo.
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Don’t get me wrong, I love playing “Santa and His Helper” with
Don’t get me wrong, I love playing “Santa and His Helper” with my wife, especially when she licks the candy cane and empties out Santa’s sack. I just wish she weren’t so insistent about hanging Santa’s balls from the tree.
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks
Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks.
