Don’t get me wrong, I love playing “Santa and His Helper” with my wife, especially when she licks the candy cane and empties out Santa’s sack. I just wish she weren’t so insistent about hanging Santa’s balls from the tree.
Tone: light-hearted
Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks
Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks.
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
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One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in
One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in the supply room, tearing off each others’ clothes. I guess it was just the sperm of the moment.
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Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they
Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they keep coming up with new names for lady-parts, I’ll never graduate from medical school.
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I cried because I had no penis, until I met a woman who had no
I cried because I had no penis, until I met a woman who had no vagina. And we lived happily ever after in her Malibu Dream House.
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Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the
Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the Royal Wooding!
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Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate?
Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate? Mine reads: “relish sausage spread buns.”
