Tone: Sarcastic

Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Honesty’s Too Much

    Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much — ’cause you’ve put on quite a few pounds, there, baby.

  • Where Did the Creator of The Jetsons Go

    Whenever I’m stuck in traffic, I can’t help but wonder, “Where did the creator of ‘The Jetsons’ go, and why hasn’t he done something about this?”

  • Dick’s Burnout: Thirty Times Left

    A man is having problems with his dick which certainly had seen better times… He consults a doctor which, after a couple of tests, says, “Sorry, but you’ve overdone it the last 30 years, your dick is burned out; you won’t be able to make love more than 30 times!”

    The man walks home (deeply depressed, of course); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him.

    She says: “Oh my god, only 30 times! We should not waste that; we should make a list!”

    He replies, “Yes, I already made a list on the way home; sorry your name is not on it!”

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  • Native American Escort Outprices Historical Real Estate Deal

    A guy visiting Arizona wants to get some.

    He finds a pretty escort of Native American origin.

    **Girl**: My fee is three hundred dollars.

    **Guy**: Whaaaat? Your forefathers only wanted twenty-four bucks for the whole of Manhattan Island!

    **Girl**: True enough… but Manhattan Island just lies there.

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  • Al Gore’s Internet Refund

    If Al Gore really invented the Internet, then why does he continue to ignore my repeated requests for a refund of my BIGBEAVERZ.COM membership fee?

  • Night School 8 AM Class

    The worst part about going to night school to get my college education was ending up with an 8:00 class and having to drag my sleepy ass out of bed by 7:00 PM.

  • My Real Life

    I would be completely happy to just live in my dreams, if it weren’t for my girlfriend repeatedly changing into Hitler. No, wait a minute — that’s my real life.