I just turned 40 and I groan every time I get up now.
I’m finally a groan man.
Tone: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Some Really Terrible Things for Money
In my day, I’ve done some really terrible things for money.
Like getting up early to go to work.
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The Lesser of Two Evils
My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his “better half.”
I returned the courtesy and introduced my wife as the “lesser of two evils.”
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Retirement Benefits Without ID
Yesterday, I went to apply for retirement benefits but forgot my wallet. The clerk said, “Just unbutton your shirt.”
I showed my gray chest hair. She said, “That’ll do,” and processed everything.
When I told my wife, she said, “You should’ve dropped your pants, maybe you’d qualify for disability too.”
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Words Cannot Describe How Much This Bugs Me
I keep forgetting the difference between etymology and entomology…
…and words cannot describe how much this bugs me.
