Tone: shocking

Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Goodbye You Little Shit

    Goodbye You Little Shit

  • Calories In Semen

    Calories In Semen

  • Biblical Loopholes Doggy Style

    Biblical Loopholes Doggy Style

  • Why Is the Bible Like a Penis

    Why is the Bible like a penis?

    You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

  • Thats the Sheriffs Gal

    A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West. After several weeks there he noticed that the town was populated solely by men.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He asked one of the local cowboys, “What do you do when you get the urge for a woman?”

    The cowboy replied, “See them thar’ sheep up on th’et hill. We just go git us one.”

    “That is disgusting and barbaric!!” replied the lawyer.

    After about 3 months the lawyer could not stand it any longer. He decided though, if he was going to do a sheep, he would show these yokels how to do it right. He picked out the prettiest sheep of the bunch, bathed her, put a pink ribbon on her, served her hay on a china plate, dressed her in fine lingerie, and then took the sheep to bed.

    After he finished he decided to take his new found lover out for a drink. He wandered into the local saloon with the sheep under his arm.

    The piano fell silent, people dropped drinks, and all the cowboys turned, and stared in shocked disbelief.

    The lawyer said, “You bunch of hypocrites. You look at me as if I’m some sort of freak for doing what you’ve been doing all along. I’m just doing it with more class.”

    “That ain’t the problem,” replied one cowboy. “That’s the sheriff’s gal you’re with.”

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  • OJ Simpson Wanted to Move to West Virginia

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

    Everyone has the same DNA.

  • 45 Pounds vs 45 Minutes

    We all know the difference between a girlfriend and a wife is 45 pounds, but…

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    A: 45 minutes.

    Q: What is the definition of “making love”?
    A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

    Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
    A: It’s not real bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.

    Q: What’s the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
    A: It took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.

    Q: What does a Polish woman do after she sucks a cock?
    A: Spits out the feathers.

    Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
    A: Humpme Dumpme.

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  • The Band or the Football Team

    The girl admitted under parental questioning that she was pregnant, but couldn’t say who was responsible.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “All right!” bellowed her Mother, “you march yourself to your room, and don’t come out until you can give us a definite answer.”

    Later that night her voice rang down the stairs. “Hey Mom, I think I have an idea now.”

    “I should hope so!” the Mother responded. “The very idea that any daughter of mine could get pregnant, let alone not know the father.”

    “Chill Mom.” the girl said. “I got it narrowed down to the band or the football team.”

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  • Wouldnt I Wooden Eye

    There was a seaman who had a wooden eye because he was a tight mean bastard who refused to pay for a professionally made eyeball. However he was very sensitive about people making fun of his eyeball. One night after being at sea for several months and being tight with money, he thought he would try his luck at the local pubs for some pussy instead of going with the other guys to proposition some of the local prostitutes.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He struck pay dirt by meeting a lady with the most marvelous figure. However, instead of her mouth going across her face, it went vertically straight up and down. On arriving back at the woman’s place and making small talk, the lady said she would like him to leave as she wanted her sleep.

    This got the seaman angry as he wanted some pussy and told her she wouldn’t have been any good in bed anyway. She yelled “WOULDN’T I” and the seaman thought she had said wooden eye, and being very sensitive about his eye he retorted “WHO ARE YOU CALLING WOODEN EYE CUNT FACE”.

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