SADLY LEARNED MY FAMILY WAS RACIST. I DATED A BLACK GIRL AND BROUGHT HER HOME TO MEET THE THEM.
MY WIFE AND KIDS WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO HER.
Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

A man named Walter Summerford was struck by lightening 3 times in his life. After his death, his gravestone was also struck.
Jesus Christ!
FUCK THAT GUY

Carryout Orders:
76 LINDSEY – Now – Ready
78 MARTIN SCHMIDT – Now – Ready
79 LYNN MURRAY – Now – Ready
81 JEW – 4 minutes – In Oven

Coronavirus panic day 3: I was forced to catch a squirrel today, not for food, I just used it to wipe my ass… It was not happy
I scared the mailman yesterday by going to the door completely naked…
I’m not sure what freaked him out more… my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench.
All of a sudden a strange man in a trench-coat walks in front of them and blatantly flashes them.
The first old lady had a stroke.
The second old lady also had a stroke.
But the third old lady couldn’t reach.
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, l have a problem.
I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but l have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and l will put them in with my two male parrots who l taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. The priest’s two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, “Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the bibles away. Our prayers have been answered!”
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment where he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized bears on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf.
The man is rather surprised that she would have a collection of teddy bears, especially a collection so extensive, but he decided not to mention it. He turned to her… they kissed… and then they ripped each other’s clothes off and made passionate love.
After an intense night of passion, as were are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolled over and asked the stupid question that all men seem to ask at some point: “Well, how was it?”
The woman says, “You can choose any prize from the bottom shelf.”