Him: Why are broken condoms on the couch?
Her: Would you PLEASE start using our children’s real names?
Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Him: Why are broken condoms on the couch?
Her: Would you PLEASE start using our children’s real names?

Do not swallow anything Satan is trying to ram down your throat. Jesus comes first. – Joel Osteen
HOLY SHIT, JOEL!
PHRASING!!

angry raccoon
When banging a girl from behind, you stick both your pointer fingers in her ass, and when she turns around in shock, you take your shitty fingers and circle around her eyes, making the appearance of a raccoon. Then you run out of the house, knocking over the trash can on the way out.
After a visit to the zoo, I felt compelled to give my girl the angry raccoon.

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
MOTHERFUCKER……..UGGGGH!!!!
A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says…
“Wait, honey, there’s somethin’ I need you to know. I’m a virgin.”
“WHAT THE FOOK?” The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out.
He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her daddy’s house, where he dumps her in the yard.
Then the man drives to his daddy’s house and goes inside.
The dad sees his son, and says, “What the hell you doin’ here, boy? Ain’t you supposed to be with your new bride?”
“Well, pa,” the son says, “I was, but she told me she’s still a virgin.”
“Well holy dog-shit,” says the dad, “What’d you do then?”
“I punched her in the face and knocked her out, wrapped her up in the sheets, drug her down the stairs and out the door, threw her in the back of my pick up, and then drove on to her daddy’s house and dumped her on the lawn.”
The dad starts laughing, and, patting his son on the back, he says, “Good job, son. If she ain’t good enough for her family, I say she ain’t good enough for ours neither.”

hmm.. lovely weather today
pft
tell me something I don’t know
your Grandma’s ass can take my whole fist..
What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing.
They’re stuck up cunts.
How do you get a gay to fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
Carrots are good for your memory.
Get one shoved in your ass and you won’t forget it.