Yesterday, one of my good friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.
Silly humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
At a winery, the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said, “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.”
“That’s correct,” said the boss. Another glass…
“This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results.”
“Correct.” A third glass… “It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,” the drunk said calmly.
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.”


Tigers have “false eyes” on the back of their ears to discourage predators from attacking them from behind
I am slightly less terrified of tigers and 1000x more terrified of whatever the fuck a tiger considers a predator
That Bitch Carole Baskins


DISSATISFIED?
Karen & Karen
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION SPECIALISTS
Sassy Employee? Order Wrong? 754-8465


I dont know whats worse the straw placement or the eye contact you'll have to make while using it


“Some people call me the space cowboy”
*leans in*
“Some people call me the gangster of love”
BARISTA: I'm just gonna put Steve on the cup