Joke Type: absurdist

Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • She Really Means Well

    My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”

    I know she really means well.

  • Consumed by His Own Pride

    Did you hear about the arrogant lion tamer?

    He was consumed by his own pride.

  • Just Stationery

    I can’t figure out why my paper airplane won’t take off…

    I guess it’s just stationery.

  • Before the Crowbar Was Invented

    True fact:

    Before the crowbar was invented…
    …most crows drank at home.

  • To Beat the Crowd

    Why do riot police go to work so early?

    To beat the crowd.

  • It Just Rolls Off the Tongue

    My favourite word is drool.

    It just rolls off the tongue.

  • Filled It With Spring Water

    My ditzy neighbor bought a waterbed and said it was way more bouncy than he expected…

    He said, “I’m guessing it’s because I filled it with spring water.”

  • No Word Yet

    My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out.

    No word yet…

  • Feeling a Little Down

    I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.

    Then I started feeling a little down.

  • Look Back and Laugh

    It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.

    But now I can look back and laugh.