Witty Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Settle an argument: When a friend breaks her arm, it’s the other

Settle an argument: When a friend breaks her arm, it’s the other friend’s responsibility to draw a giant penis and balls on the cast, right?

These funeral ushers are not fucking around with the one free balloon per mourner limit.

Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for that shit. *massive bong rip*

Fuck it: Mouses, deers, fishes, gooses. There, I did it. It’s about time someone did.

I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I could only get it halfway up my ass before I gave up.

Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.

If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog has already won.

Perhaps one day we’ll have technology to keep the seat belt from getting slammed in the door. Or to keep men from sitting on their balls.

She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but she’s not the one with mustard burns on her pecker.

I’ve never seen The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but I just read where a dude shit his pants on the show, so I may have to start watching.