Business jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
A businessman walks into a brothel.
He asks the lady working the front desk, “I’d like a room, and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, most boring-in-bed woman—and a ham sandwich.”
The receptionist looks at him, confused, and says, “For that price, we could get you our youngest, kindest, slimmest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.”
The businessman replies, “Lady, you don’t understand. I’m homesick.”
A businessman wants to buy a farmhouse.
After discussing the price and coming to common ground on the terms, they shake hands, and the property is practically sold.
As they do a final walkthrough of the land, the businessman notices a beehive on the property and says, “Please, this needs to be removed—or take them with you. They could sting; it’s dangerous.”
The farmer answers, “They’ve never stung me once since they’ve been here. I’ve never had any problems with them. I understand that you’re afraid, though, so let’s do it like this: I’ll tie you to this tree right here and leave you here butt naked overnight. If any bee stings you, I’ll give you my property for free.”
They agree on those terms and shake hands again.
The next morning, the farmer checks on the businessman and finds him all dried up, skinny, pale, eyes rolled back, and barely holding himself up.
The farmer is shocked at the sight and says, “I want to apologize. This was a terrible idea. They never stung me or anyone who ever came by. Tell me, how many stung you?”
The businessman, barely speaking, says, “None… but tell me, does that calf of yours not have a mother?”
