Topic: parenting

Parenting jokes, kid chaos, family stress, and tiny humans causing damage from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

  • I Just Got That Puppy

    I Just Got That Puppy

    When your dad shows you how to properly kill and skin an animal.

    I just got that puppy…

  • The Sperm Count

    An old man goes to the urologist to talk about having another child.

    The doctor says, “Do you know your sperm count?”

    The old man replies, “I didn’t know they could do math!”

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  • Junior Bacon Cheeseburger

    Junior Bacon Cheeseburger

    Chel: Having your first son and not making him a Jr is crazy to me

    Lado: yall be naming yall sons jr. with no father

    junior what…. junior bacon cheeseburger?

  • Here Comes Trouble

    Here Comes Trouble

    Dad one sees dad two:

    “oh no! here comes trouble!”

    Dad two: “oh boy they let you out of the house?!”

    Dads:

  • Mom Ordered Door Dash Again

    Mom Ordered Door Dash Again

    Oh look, your mom ordered Door Dash again. 😈🤣

    SEMEN

    WTA GAGS.COM

    WGS HI BLOW

  • Your Son Is an Artist!

    A man goes to school to have a meeting with his son’s teachers. He walks into the first classroom and says, “Hello, I’m Giotto’s father. Please excuse me if I sound a bit strange, but I burned my tongue yesterday.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The teacher sighs and says, “Look, we really needed to talk to you. Your son is struggling. He doesn’t know his times tables, he doesn’t know the American states… he doesn’t even know which state he’s in right now! You really need to have a talk with him.”

    “I’m so sorry,” the father replies. “I’ll speak with him tonight. But again, please forgive my speech; I really scorched my tongue.”

    He then moves on to the art teacher’s office. “Hello, I’m Giotto’s father. Please excuse my voice, I burned my tongue yesterday.”

    The art teacher beams. “Oh, don’t worry about that! I have to tell you, your son is a prodigy. He’s incredible! Just yesterday, he drew a basket of fruit so realistically that all the other children gathered around trying to pick a piece to eat!”

    The father nods and says, “I know, I know… yesterday he drew a vagina on the stove.”

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  • Could You Vape Semen

    Could You Vape Semen

    r/morbidquestions u/thatcatinthecorner 14h

    Could you vape semen?

    If it was watered down to the approximate thickness of fluid, could you vape semen?

    192 60 Share

    BEST COMMENTS

    DrDank7 12h

    Great now you’re making vaping even more gay

    445

    1simis 9h

    It’s a double negative though so it cancels out

    115

    What_R_YOU_Doin_Here 6h

    I don’t think that’s how this works. If you are giving a bj and taking it in the ass at the same time, does that make you straight?

    18

    WillBeamon 6h

    Obviously

    33

  • It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    it looks like you’re pregnant

    I’m pregnant?!

    No, but it looks like you are.

  • Throwback to My First Race

    Throwback to My First Race

    THROWBACK TO MY FIRST RACE

    I WON !!

  • And Tigger?

    And Tigger?

    Zack Riley @ColdHeart_Prj

    My son asked me “Where does poo come from?” I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, “And Tigger?”