Religion jokes, holy weirdness, questionable miracles, and sacred-adjacent punchlines from the part of the internet that definitely heard the thunder.
Immediately after mass one Sunday morning, a man stops to shake the preacher’s hand. “That was a goddamned fine sermon you gave today,” the man tells the preacher. “Goddamned fine!”
“Thank you, sir,” the preacher answers, “but I’d rather you didn’t use that kind of foul, blasphemous language in the Lord’s house.”
“You know, I was so goddamned impressed with that fucking sermon that I put $5,000 in the goddamned offering plate!” says the man.
And the preacher says, “No shit!”
How can you tell Mike Tyson does not like religion?
Because he punches everyone on their faith.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me 😞
@shitheadsteve
Huh?
Jesus that sucks
THE MISSIONARY POSITION
MOTHER TERESA IN THEORY AND PRACTICE
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
FOREWORD BY THOMAS MALLON
Das Skoogeth @Skoogeth
[god creating mushrooms]
god: some go on pizzas
angel: ooo tasty
god: some make you trip balls
angel: um
god: and some just fucking kill you
angel: you ok buddy?
Why use Google, when Jesus has all the answers.? 🙂
Not gonna ask Jesus where to find midget porn
ur local ugh dealer @void_daddy_
yeah ok sure, when jesus disappears for three days then comes back, it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘a miracle,’ but when I do it, it’s ‘alarming’ and ‘not an excused absence’
PATHEOS.COM
Study finds atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians
Robert Noble: This article is stupid. Besides not knowing how to feed and care for them, it’s illegal to own a Christian, let alone buy and sell them.
