Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”
She said, “Because you’re ugly.”
Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

“Having too much sex can cause memory loss.” I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm.

rob elliott @rockymomax
The amount of cookies I’ve watched the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me sick

“I can’t end my messages with ‘Love, Shaq’, because the B-52s ruined that for me”
~ Shaquille O’Neal
The amount of cookies I’ve watched the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me sick.
While the Super Bowl has about seventy thousand attendees each year, the hyperbole has at least a bajillion.

We can steal your man
@lordflaconegro
Shawty in the back look like she gonna steal the Declaration of Independence

Execute @execute
A whole island where men aren’t allowed. SuperShe Island in Finland is a women-only retreat. Founded in 2018, sold for over a million in 2023, and still enforcing a strict no-men policy. The only time a man steps foot there is to fix something, then he’s gone.