Delivery Style: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Doggy Style Ruins Knees Every Time

    A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, “There must be something you’re doing that you haven’t told me. Can you think of anything that might be doing this to your knees?”

    “Well,” she said a little sheepishly, “my husband and I have sex doggy-style on the floor every night.”

    “That’s got to be it,” said the doctor. “There are plenty of other positions and ways to have sex, you know.”

    “Not if you’re going to watch TV, there ain’t,” she replied.

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  • Check Fraud Gets Creative With Rental Excuse

    A man went to a woman in a bar and offered her 500 dollars for sex. He said that he did not have the money on him but he would mail her a check the next day. She agreed. The next day, the man changed his mind and had his secretary mail a check for 250 dollars with the following note:

    Dear Madam, Here is money I owe for the apartment you showed me. You will note that it is less than the agreed upon amount because when I rented the apartment I was under the following assumptions…
    that it was heated, that it had never been rented before and that it was much smaller than it was.

    The woman promptly replied with, “Sir, here is your check back. As for the apartment, it is heated, you simply did not know how to turn it on. Secondly, how could you ever think that such a beautiful apartment would sit vacant? And as for the size, it was just right and not my fault that you did not have the furniture to fill it!”

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  • Wife’s Witty One-Liner Demolishes Husband’s Request

    A husband cuddled up to his wife and softly whispered into her ear: “Could we make love, please dear?”

    “Not tonight, darling, I’ve got a splitting headache,” she replied.

    “Please, I’ll only stick it in for a minute,” pleaded her husband.

    His wife retorted: “What do you think I am, a fuckin’ microwave?”

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  • Bad Cell Phone Connection

    When my wife said we were breaking up, I thought she was referring to a bad cell phone connection. Now I’m not so sure, since she hasn’t come home in three weeks — and we don’t have a cell phone.

  • John’s Noisy Bedsprings Keep Fred Awake Nightly

    It happened that when Fred and John went to College they got rooms in different levels of the building but right on top of each other. John’s room was above Fred’s room and John was always good with the woman.

    Every night since school started Fred would hear up above his room, “Claclopp! Claclopp!! Calaclopp!!!, Spring! Zippp! Ahhhaaaa!”

    It went on every night:…”Claclopp! Claclopp!! Calaclopp!!!, Spring! Zipp! Ahhhaaa!”

    Now Fred wasn’t a snoop and normally didn’t interfere on John’s love life or even ask of what went on every night. But one night it was different. Instead of the strange “Claclopp! Claclopp!!, Spring! Zippp! Ahhhaaaa!” He heard “Claclopp! Claclopp!!, Spring! Zippp! YEEeeOOWWWwwwwwweeeeeee!!!”.

    Fred was confused by this….not to mention scared out of his mind by the scream. So he took a step at getting intimate with his friend John. “Hey John,” he said that morning. “I really hate to pry but every night I hear this ‘Claclopp, Claclopp, Calaclopp, spring, zip, Ahhaaa. But last night I was frightened by a ‘Claclopp!!, Claclopp!!, Calaclopp!!!, Spring, Zippp, YEEeeOOWWWwwwwwweeeeeee!!!’ Do you mind explaining this?”

    “Well,” said John. “The Claclopp!, Claclopp!!, Claclopp!! was me running towards the bed. The Spring!! was me leaping in the air. The Zippp! was me zipping down my pants in mid air. And the AAhhhaaaa!! Was me settling my manhood in my girlfriend.”

    “So what was last night?” Fred asked.

    “Well,” he hesitated. “The Claclopp!, Claclopp!!, Claclopp!!! was me running. The Spring! was me leaping in the air. The Zippp was me gracefully zipping my pants down in the air. And the YEEeeOOWWWwwwwweeeeee!!!! was me landing my nuts on the bedpost.”

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  • Dark Humor Warning: Shocking Punchline Ahead

    This guy and this girl are rampantly having sex. During a lull in the passion, the guy asks the girl to turn over.

    “Why?” asks the girl.

    “Because I want to try something different,” says the guy.

    “That’s perverted!” says the girl.

    “What did you say?” asks the guy.

    “I said that’s perverted.”

    “I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure I heard properly – what did you say?”

    “I said that’s perverted.”

    “Shit,” says the guy, “that’s a big word for a five year-old.”

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  • Where Did You Learn That

    Where Did You Learn That

    HER: OMG where did you learn how to do that?

    ME: (wishbone pulling)

  • Sweet Carol Line

    Sweet Carol Line

    My name’s Carol.

    Really? Me too!

    I’m also Carol.

    Me too!

    Hi, I’m Carol.

    Sweet Carol line.

  • Old Friend From Preschool

    Old Friend From Preschool

    Ran into an old friend from preschool at the bar last night

  • Why Would I Pick You

    Why Would I Pick You

    Me : Dad, am i adopted ?

    Dad : No, why the fuck would i pick you ?