(Phil Schwa) I always look at the positives, not the negatives. Today I’m grateful for the 99.9% of the time my anus knows the difference between a gas and another state of matter.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Laughter cures everything. Unless you have a phobia about
Laughter cures everything. Unless you have a phobia about someone being amused by the sight of your tiny dick.
-
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some fun. I don’t, however, want to bang that bike-racing dude with one nut.
-
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
-
My parents are very asexual. I swear the only times they had sex
My parents are very asexual. I swear the only times they had sex were when I was conceived, when my sister was conceived, and that time Dad shot me in my still-developing fetal eye.
-
I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that
I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that faster-than-a-speeding-bullet part.
-
Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes
Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes sense when you think about it. Sometimes you really have to grip it hard and make a lot of tight little circles to get the ink flowing.
