Delivery Style: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • I Cant Do That

    Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup. As he is being looked over, the doctor asks about his stuttering. After considerable effort, he was able to tell the doctor that it started shortly after reaching puberty. The doctor asks him to drop his pants and underwear, at which point he sees the patient has an exceptionally large member. The doctor picks it up and asks the man if he feels any better. The patient clearly replies with no stutter that he feels great. The doctor tells him the weight is putting stress on his diaphragm, making it hard to move air in and out of his lungs, causing the stutter. The doctor says he can correct the problem but will have to replace his manhood with a smaller but still functional penis. The guy agrees to have it done because he is tired of the looks and insults he gets from strangers.

    A couple days later he storms into the doctor’s office and, with perfect diction, asks the doctor to give back his old penis or his girlfriend will leave him.

    The doctor replies, “I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-so sorry. I-I-I c-c-ca-can-can’t do that.”

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  • You Already Know How to Play Tennis

    My wife walked in on me watching Internet porn so I quickly switched to a YouTube video on tennis.

    As she left the room she said, “Turn it back to the porn, you already know how to play tennis.”

  • Learn to Write With Your Other Hand

    A teacher sternly informs her class that no excuse, from a papercut to the plague, is acceptable for missing a final exam.

    When students suggest scenarios like car issues or roadblocks, she tells them to walk or find a detour.

    Finally, a student asks what to do in the case of “extreme sexual exhaustion”?

    To which the teacher deadpans, “You’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand.”

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  • Jesus Doesn’t Drink

    Why doesn’t Jesus drink?

    Because the last time he got hammered, it took him 3 days to recover.

  • Cunning Runts

    What’s the difference between a bunch of pygmies and the Stanford women’s track team?

    The pygmies are cunning runts.

  • A Crusty Bus Station

    What’s the difference between a crab with breast implants and a transportation terminal?

    One’s a crusty bus station.

  • One Snatches Watches

    What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

    One snatches watches.

  • Cunning Stunts

    What’s the difference between a magician’s wand and a policeman’s taser?

    The magician’s wand is for cunning stunts.

  • It Fall Off by Itself

    A guy develops a really bad infection on his penis. Like, seriously bad. He goes to multiple doctors, even the expensive ones, and they all tell him the same thing: it has to be amputated or the infection could spread and kill him. Eventually, he gives up and accepts his fate. Surgery is scheduled.

    Then his cousin hears about it and says, “Wait, before you do that, you should try this famous oriental doctor. People swear by him.” Out of desperation, the guy goes.

    He explains, “Doc, I’ve seen a lot of western doctors already. They all say it needs to be cut off before the infection spreads.”

    The doctor nods, tells him to take off his pants, and starts examining everything very carefully. Feeling, pressing, lifting… full inspection.

    After a while, the doctor smiles and says, “Good news!”

    The guy lights up. “Really? So you don’t need to cut it off?”

    The doctor waves his hand and says, “No, no. We are not like western doctors. They always cut, cut, cut… then charge, charge, charge!”

    The guy is relieved. “So I’m safe?”

    The doctor nods confidently. “Yes. No need to cut.”

    The guy almost cries from happiness. “Thank you, Doc! So what’s the treatment?”

    The doctor shrugs and says, “We wait two weeks.”

    The guy pauses. “And then?”

    The doctor smiles. “It fall off by itself.”

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  • Dad I’m Over Here

    My dad said, “Son, if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.”

    And I was like, “Dad, I’m over here.”