Surprise twist joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
I finally worked up the courage to ask my blind coworker if she was currently seeing anyone.
She said, “No, but I have a boyfriend.”
This guy’s father dies, so he goes to the undertaker and tells him he wants the best of everything for his father. The funeral is absolutely beautiful, and the guy is extremely pleased.
The next day, the guy gets a bill for $16,085, and he pays it. The next month, he gets another bill for $85. He figures it’s just a little supplementary bill, so he pays that, too.
Next month, another bill for $85 arrives, so he calls up the undertaker and says, “I keep getting these bills for 85 dollars. I thought I paid for the funeral already.”
The undertaker says, “Well, you said you wanted the best for your father, so I rented him a tux.”
The Pope dies and stands before the Gates of Heaven…
He knocks and St. Peter opens the Gate.
St. Peter: “Yes? How can I help you?”
Pope: “I want to speak with God.”
St. Peter: “And you are?”
Pope, frustrated: “I’m the Pope!”
St. Peter: “Doesn’t ring a bell.”
Pope, very angry: “I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH GOD!”
St. Peter closes the Gate and goes to God.
St. Peter: “My Lord, there is someone who wants to talk with you.”
God: “Who?”
St. Peter: “He calls himself the Pope.”
God: “Who is that supposed to be?”
St. Peter: “I don’t know, what should we do with him?”
God: “Let Jesus talk with him, he spent some time down there.”
Jesus goes to the Pope.
A few minutes later Jesus returns laughing like there is no tomorrow.
God: “What’s so funny, Jesus?”
Jesus: “Father, you won’t believe this — that fishing club I founded 2,000 years ago, it still exists!”
A gynecologist had grown tired of malpractice insurance, paperwork, and burnout.
Hoping to start a new career where skilled hands would still be useful, he decided to become a mechanic.
He enrolled in evening classes at a local technical college, studied diligently, and learned everything he could.
When the practical exam finally arrived, he prepared carefully and completed it with tremendous skill.
A few days later, he received his results and was shocked to discover he had scored 150%.
Assuming there had been some kind of mistake, he called the instructor.
“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful,” he said, “but I think there may be an error in my score.”
The instructor replied, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly. That earned you 50%.”
“You then put the engine back together perfectly. That earned you the other 50%.”
After a brief pause, the instructor added:
“I gave you an extra 50% because you did the whole thing through the exhaust pipe, and I’ve never seen that done before.”
This blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and, sure enough, she opens the door to find him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry.
An old Australian farmer marries the beautiful twenty-year-old daughter of a neighbouring farmer. After a week or two of regular sex, the farmer can’t seem to make the young woman climax. There is no doctor in the nearby town so he goes to visit the veterinarian and explains the situation.
