Narrative comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A bus full of housewives on a picnic trip tragically veered off a bridge and fell into a river. All the wives passed away…
Each husband cried for a week, except for one, who kept crying for more than two weeks!
When asked why he was so devastated, he replied miserably: “My wife missed the bus!”
At the border, a man rides up on a bicycle with a sack on the luggage rack.
The customs officer stops him and asks, “Do you have anything to declare?”
“Nothing,” the man replies.
“And what’s in the sack?”
“Sand.”
The officer inspects the sack. Sure enough, nothing but sand.
The next day, the man returns on the bicycle with another sack of sand.
Again, the officer checks it. Nothing but sand.
This goes on every day for a week.
By the eighth day, the officer has become increasingly suspicious. He sifts the sand. Nothing.
The man continues crossing the border every day. After two more weeks, the officer finally sends the sand off to a laboratory for analysis.
The results come back: nothing but sand.
Another month passes. By now, the customs officer is losing his mind.
Finally, he pulls the man aside and says, “Listen… off the record, between you and me, I promise I won’t tell a soul. But you have to tell me what you’re smuggling.”
The man looks around carefully, leans in, and whispers:
“Bicycles.”
A man died, went to Heaven and met Jesus.
While Jesus was showing him round, the man spotted a broken clock.
“What’s that, then?” he asked.
Jesus said, “That’s Mother Teresa’s clock. It has never moved because she has never lied.”
“Just over here is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. He lied twice, so it has moved twice.”
“Where is Donald Trump’s clock?” asked the man.
Jesus smiled. “It’s in my office, I’m using it as a ceiling fan.”
A German man walks into a McDonald’s in the United States…
After waiting in line, he finally gets to the counter, and he orders a pint of beer, because you can get beer at McDonald’s in Germany.
An American customer overhears the man’s order, and he approaches the German man and says, “How could you be so stupid? You cannot order beer here.” while laughing at the German man right to his face.
The German man thinks for a second and then he starts laughing uncontrollably. Not just any laugh. This is a laugh so intense that he is struggling not to fall over.
The American customer is no longer laughing. He now has a puzzled look on his face. He asks the German man, “What’s so funny?”
The German man says, “I just realised that you came here for the food.”
A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have sex with you. I’ll make it very fast. I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor. By the time you bend down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought about it for a moment, then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend replied, “Go for it, but ask him for $2,000 instead. Pick up the money as fast as you can—he won’t even have time to undress himself.”
So she agreed.
Half an hour later, the boyfriend called her back.
“What happened?” he asked.
She replied, “That bastard used coins… I’m still picking them up, and he’s still going!”
My 4-year-old grandson came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
He stood there thinking for a moment… then ran to my bathroom and came back with my toothbrush.
He held it up with a charming little smile and said, “We better throw this one out too… ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”
