My wife and I went to Subway for lunch. She ordered us a footlong to split. I told her 6″ wasn’t enough.
She replied, “You’ll get used to it!”
Tone: cheeky
Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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As Hot Today as 50 Years Ago
Old lady says to her husband, “My nipples are as hot today as they were 50 years ago.”
Her husband says, “They ought to be. One is in coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”
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She’s Intuit
I convinced my wife to do a sexy role play with me where we pretend to be financial corporations.
She’s Intuit.
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You Should Be Hung
I was sitting down having a beer watching my wife mow the lawn, and this old lady came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”
I shouted back, “I am… that’s why she mows the lawn!”
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Such a Small Organ
In bed with a priest, a nun said, “Father, I never expected you’d have such a small organ.”
He replied, “Why, Sister… I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral.”
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The First Few Days Were the Hardest
I recently joined a nudist colony.
The first few days were the hardest.
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Funny That You Ask
A prostitute approaches a guy. “Hey babe, do you want to have sex for $400?”
Guy: “Funny that you ask, I could use that money very well.”
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Her Kids and I Are Shocked
I just found out my girlfriend isn’t a virgin.
Her kids and I are shocked.
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On My Own Accord
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…
But if I’m gonna have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
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A Stroke at Any Time
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
