Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Tom and the Alaskan Party

    After 25 years in the liquor business, Tom quits, buys 50 acres in remote Alaska, and lives in total peace with no visitors for six months.

    One day, there’s a knock. A huge, bearded man says, “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from 40 miles up the road. Having a party Friday at 5. You should come.”

    “Sounds great,” says Tom.

    Lars starts to leave, then adds, “Gonna be some drinkin’.”

    “No problem—I can handle that.”

    “Probably some fightin’, too.”

    “I get along with folks—I’ll be fine.”

    “Maybe some wild sex, too.”

    “Even better!” Tom grins. “What should I wear?”

    Lars shrugs. “Don’t matter… just gonna be the two of us.”

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  • Only Have a Croc Pot

    I was going to cook alligator for dinner…

    But then I realized I only have a croc pot.

  • Adam and the Cost of a Mate

    After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, “You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I’m alone. Can you create me one also?”

    God replied, “Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always, and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.”

    Adam thought for a second and said, “That’s a bit steep, what can I get for a rib?”

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  • The Genie and the Two Wishes

    A guy finds an old lamp in the desert. He rubs it and a genie pops out. The genie tells the guy he has two wishes.

    The guy says, “I always thought it was three wishes.”

    The genie says, “Check your pants.”

    The guy looks down and says, “Woah, it’s huge!”

    And the genie says, “I’ve been doing this for a long time.”

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  • The Twenty-Dollar Tomatoes

    A guy went to a supermarket to buy 2 tomatoes.

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    At the checkout, the clerk said, “That’ll be $20.”

    The guy was upset. “Two tomatoes for $20? Are you out of your mind?!”

    The clerk said, “That’s the price, you want them or not?”

    The guy said, “I don’t want them, and you know what you can do with them?”

    The clerk said, “I can’t, there’s already a $10 cucumber there.”

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  • The Woman and the Discharge

    A woman went to the doctor and said, “I’m getting too much discharge.”

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    The doctor said, “Pop your knickers off and slip onto the bed.”

    He put on his latex gloves and slipped 2 fingers into her vagina.

    “How does that feel?” he asked.

    “Fucking lovely,” she replied. “But the discharge is in my ear.”

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  • Sally and the Obstetrician

    Sally, Billy Ray’s wife, pregnant with her first child, was at her obstetrician’s office. When the exam was over, she said, “My husband wants me to ask you…”

    “I know, I know,” the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”

    “No, that’s not it at all,” Sally answered. “Billy Ray wants to know if I can still mow the yard.”

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  • The Burglarized House and the K-9 Unit

    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized…

    She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

    The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

    Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”

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  • The Lawsuit Against the Hospital

    A woman is suing a hospital, claiming that after recent treatment her husband completely lost interest in physical intimacy.

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    In their defense, the hospital stated:

    “All we did was correct his eyesight.”

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  • The Christmas and Easter Churchgoer

    A Pastor was standing at the church door greeting people after service.

    One man walked by and the Pastor grabbed his hand and said, “Brother, you need to join the Army of the Lord!”

    The man looked confused and said, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”

    The pastor whispered, “Then how come I only see you at Christmas and Easter?”

    The man leaned in and whispered back, “Because I’m in the secret service.”

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