Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Unexpected Guests: A Night at the Farm

    A Jew, a Hindu, and a lawyer are driving down a country road.

    Of course, their car breaks down, and they are forced to walk. They walk for hours, and as the sun is setting, they come upon an old farmhouse. They decide to take a chance and knock on the door. An old farmer answers, and the trio explain their situation.

    The farmer says, “Welp, ain’t nobody ’round here can help y’all till the morning. But y’all are welcome to spend the night here. But one of y’all is gonna have to bed down in the barn, ’cause I only got two spare beds, ya see.”

    So the trio draws straws, and the Jew gets the short one. He goes out to the barn to sleep, and everyone else goes to bed.

    A few minutes later, the farmer hears a knock on his door. He opens it, and the Jew is standing there. The Jew says, “I can’t sleep in the barn. There’s a pig in there. It’s forbidden for me to sleep near such a filthy animal.”

    So they wake up the Hindu, and he agrees to swap places with the Jew. Everyone goes back to bed.

    A few minutes later, the farmer hears a knock on his door. He opens it, and the Hindu is standing there. The Hindu says, “I can’t sleep in the barn. There’s a cow in there. I am unworthy to sleep near such a holy animal.”

    So they wake up the lawyer, and he goes out to sleep in the barn. Everyone goes back to bed.

    A few minutes later, the farmer hears a knock on his door. He opens it, and there’s a pig and a cow standing there.

  • Watching a live stream

    Why did the woman bring a remote control to the lake?

    She was watching a live stream.

  • Furry Trouble in the Forest!

    A bear and a bunny rabbit were pooping next to each other in the woods. The bear asked the bunny if it had problems with poop sticking to its fur.

    The bunny replied with a soft, “No, Mr. Bear, I don’t have a problem with poop sticking to my fur.”

    So, the bear wiped its butt with the bunny rabbit.

  • Is the bar tender here?

    A termite walks into a pub and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

  • You got a drink named Steve?

    A grasshopper walks into a bar.

    The bartender tells him, “You know, we have a drink named after you.”

    The grasshopper answers, “You got a drink named Steve?”

  • A gardener hoes his beets

    What’s the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

    A gardener hoes his beets.

  • Businessman’s Unique Cravings: Homesick Humor

    A businessman walks into a brothel.

    He asks the lady working the front desk, “I’d like a room, and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, most boring-in-bed woman—and a ham sandwich.”

    The receptionist looks at him, confused, and says, “For that price, we could get you our youngest, kindest, slimmest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.”

    The businessman replies, “Lady, you don’t understand. I’m homesick.”

  • Light blue

    What’s blue and weighs very little?

    Light blue.

  • He was gladiator

    What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

    Nothing. He was gladiator.

  • Family Ties on His Final Goodbye

    An elderly Jewish man is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers, “Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?”

    And Sarah says, “Yes, I am here.”

    He then says, “Are my children—my wonderful children—here with me?”

    And they reply, “Yes, Father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last.”

    And he says, “And my beautiful grandchildren… are they here with me as well?”

    And they too tell him that they are here.

    The old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, “If everybody is here… why is the light on in the kitchen?”