It’s my first time with a blind man!
You’ll like it!
Dear god! My husband is home! Hide under the bed!
Honey! You’re home early!
Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

It’s my first time with a blind man!
You’ll like it!
Dear god! My husband is home! Hide under the bed!
Honey! You’re home early!

Elmo knows better than to question a man who just tore off half of his friend’s head to wear as a hat. There’s no place for weakness on the Sesame Street.

…AND SO THE LITTLE RABBIT QUICKLY DUCKED INTO A BUSH TO HIDE FROM THE SCARY FARMER AND HIS DOGS.
HEY DAD… WILL THIS STORY HAVE A HAPPY ENDING?
WELL… IF YOU INSIST.
*PTOOEY*
Cyanide and Happiness © Explosm.net

A man named Walter Summerford was struck by lightening 3 times in his life. After his death, his gravestone was also struck.
Jesus Christ!
FUCK THAT GUY