Tone: dark

Dark jokes, grim memes, and humor with the lights off and the judgment missing from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Three Women At The Gynecologist

    Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “What was that?” the others asked her.

    “Oh, it was Vitamin C. I want my baby to be healthy.”

    A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

    “What was that?” the others asked.

    “Oh, it was iron. I want my baby to be big and strong.”

    They continued knitting. Finally, the third woman took a pill.

    “What was that?” the others asked her.

    “It was thalidomide,” she said. “I just can’t get the arms right on this fucking sweater!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Three Captured Spies

    A Russian spy, an American spy, and an Italian spy were captured by a terrorist organization and kept in the same cell.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The terrorists first dragged out the American spy, tied him to a chair, and started asking him questions about the nation’s secrets, codes, and plans. The American refused, but after two continuous hours of brutal torture, he finally gave up and gave them everything he had.

    They then picked up the Russian and again asked him for his country’s confidential information. The Russian refused. After five continuous hours of gory, sick, and disturbing torture, even the Russian gave up and gave them everything he had.

    Then they moved onto the Italian. After eight hours of bloody, indescribable torture, the Italian hadn’t said a word. The terrorists grew tired and left the three to rot together.

    The American turned to the Italian and asked, “Hey, Luigi! What the hell was that? Do you not feel pain?”

    The Russian was also shocked. “Comrade! How in the world did you endure that!”

    The Italian, with tears rolling down his face, replied, “I wanted to talk, but my hands were tied.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Picking A Good Jury

    A farmer was getting sucked off by his goat when a group of bicyclists passed by. In shock, they went to the chief of police, and he was charged with a felony.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    There was a good lawyer in town, but he was much too expensive. Another lawyer did not have the qualifications of the expensive one, but had a reputation for being able to pick a good jury.

    As his lawyer fumbled through the trial, the farmer cringed as one after another of the witnesses gave damning testimony against him, and the jury focused intently. He thought he was going to be convicted for sure.

    Then, during a pause in the testimony, he heard one juror whisper to another, “A good goat will do that for you.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • I’d Rather Watch a Video of My Conception

    I think I’d rather watch a video of my conception than watch another debate.

  • The Road to Hell Is Paved

    The road to hell is paved. What more do you need to know?

  • ’Twas the Night Before Christmas

    ’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring due to the carbon monoxide being given off by the defective space heater.

  • World Kindness Day and International Day for Tolerance

    November 13th is World Kindness Day. November 16th is International Day for Tolerance. Trust me, you do NOT want to confuse them.

  • I’m Concerned About Syrian Refugees Being Sent to Alabama

    I’m concerned about the Syrian refugees being sent to Alabama. Haven’t these poor people suffered enough?

  • People Magazine and the Sexiest Man

    Hey, People Magazine! Unless you’re worried about angry letters from necrophiliacs, you can just say “Sexiest Man.”

  • A Friend Request

    A Friend Request

    Not sure if I should accept or just leave him hanging

    Jeffrey Epstein sent you a friend request.

    5 mutual friends