I gave you everything
I know. I’m on 7 antibiotics
Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out
Don’t mind if I do.

The only chick you can fuck raw dog without having to worry about paying child support

My favorite Bible story is probably the one where Jesus tells the lepers to get used to the idea that a lot of them are going to die, and then he goes on TV to brag about what a great job he’s doing.
If you really love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, chain it to a pipe in the basement, because you don’t want to take a chance like that twice.