People are perfectly fine taking food in with friends & family, but they get all uppity if I suggest we all have a shit together. Hypocrites.
Joke Type: misunderstanding
Misunderstanding jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue
A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.
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My application to join the Astronaut Wives Club was rejected.
My application to join the Astronaut Wives Club was rejected. It’s all fucking politics.
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Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can
Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can tell you that the fact my wife’s conditioner looks like semen has bailed me out on more than one occasion.
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I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I
I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.
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My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong
My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
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My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I
My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I stuck a ball gag in her mouth and thoroughly spanked her ass. Turns out she just wanted a hot young rich guy.
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“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in
“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
