As I watched my two-year-old drag his naked bottom across the carpet, I realized that perhaps I overestimated the transferability of the toilet-training skills I had initially honed with our puppies.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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LMFAO Discography
lol i’d never checked out LMFAO’s full discography before
Party Rock (2009)
Sorry for Party Rocking (2011)
We Were Going Through Some Stuff (2012)
Mistakes Were Made (2014)
We Are Always Growing and Learning (2015)
We Will Strive To Do Better In Future (2017)
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Belichick Dog Draft
Some people teach their dogs to fetch and sit.
Bill Belichick teaches his dog to draft defensive backs from obscure Division II schools in the second round.
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Insufficient Funds ATM
I think banks should do a better job by keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fifth one I’ve been to, kept saying “insufficient funds” 🙄😐
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Seven-Year-Old’s Budget Marriage Proposal Plan
A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, “Me and Janie is getting married.”
“Oh?” says the mother. “And how old is Janie?”
“Five,” replies the boy.
“And where will you live?” asks the mother.
“Well,” says the boy, “Janie’s room is bigger than my room, so we’ll live in her room.”
“How about expenses?” asks the father. “What are you going to do for money?”
“I get a dollar a week in allowance,” says the lad, “and Janie gets seventy five cents. If we put them together we’ll be okay.”
“I see,” says the father. “But what are you going to do if you have children?”
“Well,” says the boy, “we’ve been lucky so far.”
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When Hunger Beats Romance Every Single Time
I was just visiting some friends who have a real working farm. I was watching this one rooster chasing after this hen, when the friend’s wife came out to feed them.
The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and ran over to begin eating. I stood there thinking to myself, “Damn ! I hope I never get that hungry.”
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Pig Latin Poet
One of the perks of being a Pig Latin poet is that it’s pretty easy to come up with rhymes.
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Stimulus Check Midget Hookers
Me when I realize I should have used my stimulus check on bills instead of midget hookers with pink wigs
Someday I’ll learn.
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I Never Truly Understood
I never truly understood
until I encountered
__________.
Licking things to claim them as your own.
The clitoris.
