Joke Type: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Sperm Count

    An old man goes to the urologist to talk about having another child.

    The doctor says, “Do you know your sperm count?”

    The old man replies, “I didn’t know they could do math!”

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  • Low-Hanging Fruit

    I was going to make a joke about the balls of an elderly man…

    …but that would just be low-hanging fruit.

  • Blacksmith Dog

    I trained my dog to be a blacksmith.

    He made a bolt for the door.

  • Knows the Drill

    I’ve been training my dog to fetch tools from my workbench.

    He isn’t perfect, but he knows the drill.

  • French Fries

    Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France?

    They were cooked in Greece.

  • Disgruntled Employee

    For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.

    The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.

  • Nine Volt Battery

    What’s the difference between a nine-volt battery and a butthole?

    Everyone knows not to stick their tongue on a nine-volt battery.

  • In a Nutshell

    Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

    In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

  • Leopard vs. Cougar

    What’s the difference between a leopard and a cougar?

    A leopard can drag something twice its weight up a tree.

    A cougar can drag someone half her age into bed.

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  • Violins

    Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?

    It’s because of all the violins.