Joke Type: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Superman’s Superspeed Rooftop Encounter

    Superman is flying over Metropolis on a hot summer day, coming home from a mission.

    Suddenly in the distance he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing on a rooftop, completely nude. Superman thinks: “Man, she is so hot. I can fly down, fuck her with superspeed, and be back home with Lois in a few seconds without anyone noticing.”

    So he speeds down there, does as planned and Wonder Woman only feels a rapid gush of wind and the building shaking.

    “What on earth was that”, she stumbles.

    The Invisible Man replies: “Fuck, I have no idea, but my ass suddenly hurts like hell!”

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  • Viagra in the Coffee

    A New York woman asked her doctor how to bring sex back into her marriage.

    The doctor said, “Slip a Viagra into his coffee. He’ll never notice.”

    A few days later, she called and said, “Doctor, it was awful!”

    He said, “What happened?”

    She said, “Well, I put it in his coffee, and before I knew it he swept everything off the table, and we went at it like newlyweds!”

    The doctor said, “That doesn’t sound so awful.”

    She said, “Oh, the sex was wonderful but we’re banned from Starbucks!”

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  • Balcony Popsicle Neighbourhood Watch

    The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon “quickie” with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.

    “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he shouted.

    He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

    “An ambulance just drove by!”

    “Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out.

    “Matt’s riding a new bike!”

    “Looks like the Sandersons are moving!”

    “Jason is on his skateboard!”

    After a few moments he announced,

    “The Coopers are having sex!!”

    Startled, his mother and father shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out,

    “How do you know they’re having sex?”

    “Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.”

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  • Barbie Really Squirts

    Barbie really squirts

  • They Finished Your Mom’s Dildo

    They Finished Your Mom’s Dildo

    They finished your mom’s dildo.

  • Her Mouth Would Be an Airport

    Her Mouth Would Be an Airport

    I’m not saying she is a whore, but if dicks had wings, her mouth would be an airport.

  • Friendship Anal

    Friendship Anal

    wonder if they did friendship anal also

    Friendship kiss between Russian and US soldier during WW2

  • Priests Gone Wild

    Priests Gone Wild

    priests gone wild

    ‘Top’ church official says gay sex within the Vatican has ‘never been worse’

    I hope they start having better sex, what a shame

  • Spreading Butter

    Getting a woman to spread her legs is
    a lot like spreading butter on bread…

    You can do it with a credit card but
    it’s easier with a knife

  • My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.

    My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.

    I wonder what she’s up to?