Joke Type: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • When You Finally Get a Girlfriend

    When You Finally Get a Girlfriend

    WHEN YOU FINALLY
    GET A GIRLFRIEND,

    BUT YOU FORGOT THAT
    YOU DON’T HAVE TO
    BLOW HER UP.

  • Her Parents Ask About Intentions

    Her Parents Ask About Intentions

    Her parents: what are your intentions
    with our daughter?

    Me:

    BARRY McCOCKINNER

  • When She Adds Some Tongue Action

    When She Adds Some Tongue Action

    When she sucking yo Meat and
    adds some tongue action.

    are ya ready kids?

  • Can We Go to Hooters?

    Can We Go to Hooters?

    Me: can we go to Hooters?
    Wife: you’ve got Hooters at home
    The Hooters at home:

  • You Coming to the BBQ?

    You Coming to the BBQ?

    Me: you coming to the bbq?

    Her: what bbq?

    Me: the one where I slap my meat across your grill

  • The Bar Menu

    A man walks into a bar.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Upon sitting down, a busty blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

    He looks up at the menu above the bar.

    It says, “Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, Handjob $10.”

    He asks the waitress, “Miss, are you the one who gives the handjobs?”

    She winks and replies, “Why, yes, I am.”

    He says, “Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.”

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  • A man goes to the doctor and complains that he has a bright orange penis

    A man goes to the doctor and complains that he has a bright orange penis. The doctor takes a look, and sure enough, the man’s penis is bright orange.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The doctor asks the man about his daily habits to see if he could get a clue about the cause of the malady.

    The man says, “My day is pretty normal. I get up in the morning and go to work. My work is at a desk in an office, so I don’t come into contact with any strange chemicals. I come home after work, make myself dinner, watch a little TV, then get ready for bed.”

    The doctor asks, “Do you do anything before bed?”

    The man says, “Nothing unusual, I just surf the web and eat Cheetos.”

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  • Is it OK to have oral sex with a 95-year-old woman?

    Is it OK to have oral sex with a 95-year-old woman?

    I wasn’t sure, and my friends said it was a bit of a grey area.

  • You Can Always Tell

    You can always tell if a man masturbates a lot by looking at his hands…

    If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.

  • Superman’s Superspeed Rooftop Encounter

    Superman is flying over Metropolis on a hot summer day, coming home from a mission.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Suddenly in the distance he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing on a rooftop, completely nude. Superman thinks: “Man, she is so hot. I can fly down, fuck her with superspeed, and be back home with Lois in a few seconds without anyone noticing.”

    So he speeds down there, does as planned and Wonder Woman only feels a rapid gush of wind and the building shaking.

    “What on earth was that”, she stumbles.

    The Invisible Man replies: “Fuck, I have no idea, but my ass suddenly hurts like hell!”

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