Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
A New York woman asked her doctor how to bring sex back into her marriage.
The doctor said, “Slip a Viagra into his coffee. He’ll never notice.”
A few days later, she called and said, “Doctor, it was awful!”
He said, “What happened?”
She said, “Well, I put it in his coffee, and before I knew it he swept everything off the table, and we went at it like newlyweds!”
The doctor said, “That doesn’t sound so awful.”
She said, “Oh, the sex was wonderful but we’re banned from Starbucks!”
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon “quickie” with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.
“There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
“An ambulance just drove by!”
“Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out.
“Matt’s riding a new bike!”
“Looks like the Sandersons are moving!”
“Jason is on his skateboard!”
After a few moments he announced,
“The Coopers are having sex!!”
Startled, his mother and father shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out,
“How do you know they’re having sex?”
“Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.”
What do boobs and scotch have in common?
One is not enough and three is too many.
I’m not saying she is a whore, but if dicks had wings, her mouth would be an airport.
wonder if they did friendship anal also
Friendship kiss between Russian and US soldier during WW2
priests gone wild
‘Top’ church official says gay sex within the Vatican has ‘never been worse’
I hope they start having better sex, what a shame
Getting a woman to spread her legs is a lot like spreading butter on bread…
You can do it with a credit card, but it’s easier with a knife.
My first girlfriend never stopped counting, so I broke up with her.
I wonder what she’s up to?
It was 10 years ago today my best mate James came running out of the room shouting, “It’s a boy!” with tears streaming down his face.
We never went back to Thailand.
