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Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Three Cowboys Around A Fire

    Three cowboys sat around a campfire, exchanging tall tales about how tough they were. The first had strangled a snake, and the second had killed a bear.

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    The two cowboys looked to the third and asked if he thought he was tougher than them.

    The third cowboy said nothing and just continued to sit there, stirring the fire with his dick.

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  • Haggling Over Price

    A guy asks a woman, “Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?”

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    She replies, “Well, to be honest, at that price, the answer would have to be yes.”

    “Well, would you do it for five dollars?”

    “NO! What do you think I am?”

    “We’ve already established what you are. Now we’re just haggling over price.”

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  • An Electric Fence

    An elderly husband asks his wife if she remembers the first time they had sex behind the village tavern. They return to the fence, and a policeman secretly follows them.

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    The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. They erupt into furious sex against the fence, then collapse afterward.

    The amazed policeman asks their secret.

    The old man replies, “Fifty years ago, that wasn’t an electric fence.”

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  • A Cowboy In Town

    A cowboy is walking down Main Street in nothing but his boots and hat. A sheriff stops him and asks why he is walking down the street naked.

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    The cowboy explains that after he and Sally took off their clothes, she laid down and hollered, “Go to town, cowboy!”

    “So here I am.”

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  • A Code For The Evening

    A married man starts a new job that makes him work late hours. Every night, he comes home ready to have sex with his wife, who is usually asleep.

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    He says, “We need a code so you can let me know when you’re in the mood. I’ll wake you up with my erection in your hand. If you’re in the mood, stroke it two times.”

    His wife asks, “Okay, but what if I’m not in the mood?”

    He says, “You’ll stroke it 200 times!”

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  • Making Ends Meet

    A couple was going through some tough times and decided to try prostitution to make ends meet. After the first night, the wife came home after a long night and put $50.25 on the table.

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    The husband commented that it was a decent start and asked who paid with a quarter.

    She replied, “Everyone.”

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  • Thirty Dollars

    A couple decides to try prostitution to make ends meet. Harry tells his wife to stand outside a bar, charge a hundred bucks, and ask him if she has questions.

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    A guy offers thirty. Harry says he can get a handjob for that.

    She gets in the car, sees his HUGE… and says, “I’ll be right back.”

    She runs back to Harry and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”

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  • The Taxi Fare

    They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

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    “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”

    The man reluctantly paid her. Afterward, he sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.

    “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.

    “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”

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  • Three Dogs At The Vet

    Three dogs are at the vet. Two explain they attacked the mailman and milkman, so they are getting their nuts cut.

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    The third dog says he jumped on the master’s wife when she bent over and tore her ass up.

    The others ask, “Damn, you getting your nuts cut too?”

    The third dog replies, “No, just my nails done.”

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  • At The Doctor’s Office

    A beautiful woman walks into a doctor’s office. The doctor tells her to take off her pants and starts rubbing her thighs. “Do you know what I am doing?”

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    “Yes, checking for abnormalities,” she replies.

    He later starts having sex with her and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”

    She replies, “Yes, getting herpes. That’s why I am here!”

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