After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t remember whether she told me that she was a “virgin” or a “vegan.” So on our first date I hedged my bets by banging her *and* bringing her a salad.
Sensitivity: Uncensored
Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let you cum in my hair.
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When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I
When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I was going to fuck a hot chick from Rio. Either way, now I can’t fucking walk.
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I don’t know what I’m going to miss the most about my girlfriend
I don’t know what I’m going to miss the most about my girlfriend now that we’re ending our relationship, but I’ve narrowed it down to one of three things: her tits, her tits, or her tits.
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Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
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Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I
Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I felt bad for Lot. Can you imagine the pain one suffers when fucking a pillar of salt?
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I can always tell when I’m getting better after being sick when
I can always tell when I’m getting better after being sick when I again feel well enough to jerk off to Shake-Weight commericals on YouTube.
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It’s all fun and games till my boyfriend cums on my tits and
It’s all fun and games till my boyfriend cums on my tits and another girl licks it off. Then it’s… Whoa, weird — it’s still fun and games. Win!
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If I had a nickel for every lava-lamp menorah I sold this
If I had a nickel for every lava-lamp menorah I sold this season, I wonder if that would be anywhere close to enough to pay to see Jilly G.’s tits?
