Sensitivity: Uncensored

Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

If I had a nickel for every Rumination that mentioned my tits,

If I had a nickel for every Rumination that mentioned my tits, I’d stick them on my tits. I’ll bet they’d make *awesome* pasties.
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those

I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
Good: Saying “hello” and getting a smile in return from the

Good: Saying “hello” and getting a smile in return from the lovely maid who arrives as you leave your extended-stay hotel room for a quick bite to eat. Bad: Realizing 10 minutes later that you left your wank rag and hotel lotion on the night stand. Again.
“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy

“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy little thing called love.” Wow, Freddie Mercury must’ve been a terrible fuck.
When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you

When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you to spell the word “pungent,” make sure you’re not looking up from their vagina.
My wife claims I’m callous and unsupportive. Apparently she

My wife claims I’m callous and unsupportive. Apparently she missed the chapter in “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” where the Martian phrase “I’m ready to listen” translates roughly, to, “What the fuck crawled up your butt?”
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to

True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out

I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?

Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m

I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m still not canceling the bird orgy.