Uncensored Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Never split an in-fucking-finitive

Never split an in-fucking-finitive.

On the unrated DVD of “Home Alone,” Macaulay Culkin’s mom blows John Candy and his polka buddies in exchange for a ride to Chicago.

Make it a “December To Remember” by keying “Buttfucker” into the side of some stuffy old lady’s Lexus.

Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes – for guys who get hungry after they fuck.

A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.

I SLURPED OUT OF A VAGINA IN A BETTER PLACE THAN YOU SLURPED OUT OF A VAGINA! – patriotic people

Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already shitting horrifying, jet-black concrete.

I read about how so many teens are sexting nowadays. How will they ever get good at fucking if they’re constantly on their goddamn phones?

I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents over the years and bought masturbation toys. Now I own a solid gold fuck stick.

If I was a guy, I can guarantee you that as soon as I was left alone in a room, I’d rub my dick on everything while saying, “Mine.”