The worst part about being Medusa wouldn’t be turning people to stone on sight, but rather the unavoidable bad-hair days when one of your snakes is digesting a rat.
Meh Thoughts
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
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Trycocksagain: A New Hope for Lesbians
The FDA just approved a medication for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycocksagain. -
I think a better name for a threesome is “Trifuckta
I think a better name for a threesome is “Trifuckta.”
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A Ham-Brrr-Grrr
What do you call a pig that is cold and growling?
A Ham-Brrr-Grrr.
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Note to employees: The statement “Think outside the box” does *not* constitute
Note to employees: The statement “Think outside the box” does *not* constitute permission to leave it.
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They say love means different things to different people — but my lawyer has instructed
They say love means different things to different people — but my lawyer has instructed me not to say what it means to me until after the trial.
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Goldilocks Was Lazy
If you ever think you’re lazy, just remember…
Goldilocks decided to take a nap in the middle of a burglary…
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I went to an Indian Casino in Arkansas.
I went to an Indian Casino in Arkansas. Apparently the tribe isn’t doing very well. The concert that weekend was a guy who had seen Aaron Neville at a better Indian casino.
