I always thought the lyrics were, “Love me tender, love me long, take my legs apart.” It would be nice if someone had corrected me *before* I sang it at my sister’s wedding.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can
Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can tell you that the fact my wife’s conditioner looks like semen has bailed me out on more than one occasion.
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$50 Every Time
My current girlfriend loves to give blowjobs. Then again, so would I if I got $50 every time I did it.
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Eat the Sauce
I wonder if the French word for “eat” is “app,” ’cause then the word “applesauce” would be “eat-the-sauce” in France, and I bet those dirty French would hate that.
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People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my
People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my latex barbed-wired crotchless panties one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
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A lot of loud swearing sounds
I don’t know about trees, but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a lot of loud swearing sounds.
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Jesus Doesn’t Drink
Why doesn’t Jesus drink?
Because the last time he got hammered, it took him 3 days to recover.
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Blowing things out of proportion
My wife keeps blowing everything out of proportion.
She is single-handedly ruining my balloon animal business. -
Look Back and Laugh
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.
But now I can look back and laugh.
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Feeling a Little Down
I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.
Then I started feeling a little down.
