’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring due to the carbon monoxide being given off by the defective space heater.
Meh Thoughts
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Multiple Autobiographies
The cool thing about having multiple personality disorder is that you get to write a shitload of autobiographies!
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I expect that the Afghan women hardest hit by Taliban rule were Afghan women mimes.
I expect that the Afghan women hardest hit by Taliban rule were Afghan women mimes. Not only were they forced to wear burqas, but they weren’t allowed to speak about it — and they *still* can’t speak about it, pretty much by definition.
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Trivia: The African nation of Angola has the highest child mortality rate.
Trivia: The African nation of Angola has the highest child mortality rate. On the flip side, Mt. Olympus has the highest child immortality rate.
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When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to
When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to the list. So far, I’ve achieved five years of chastity and the 742nd all-time high score on Frogger.
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I’m no physicist, but I’ll bet that in the fourth dimension, “thinking outside the
I’m no physicist, but I’ll bet that in the fourth dimension, “thinking outside the tesseract” is physically impossible.
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Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve wanted to look like a rock star.
Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve wanted to look like a rock star. And the older I get, the more I look like the rock stars I grew up listening to.
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I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they
I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they fuck. That’s like making Little League baseball players watch the World Series of Fucking during every game.
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I would appreciate it as a worm
In my will, I’ve stated that I want my coffin to be made of aluminum foil and my body to be dipped in caramel and chocolate. I know that if I were someday reincarnated as a worm, I would appreciate it if someone had thought of that.
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It Made My Earring
I went to a store where they use explosives to create jewelry.
As I entered there was a loud “bang.” It made my earring.
