Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming,
During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming, shitting and masturbating. Last time I preach to monkeys at the zoo.
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Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance,
Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance, “Kalashnikov” is surely some kind of sexual perversion. And if “autofellatio” isn’t the name of a weapon, it oughta be.
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I’m not sure what I ate yesterday but I just shit the LSU
I’m not sure what I ate yesterday but I just shit the LSU marching band out of my ass this morning playing “Walk the Dinosaur.”
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The Clapper and the Mime
Does the Clapper still turn the lights on if a mime is doing the clapping?
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My boyfriend won’t stop staring at me when I brush my teeth. I
My boyfriend won’t stop staring at me when I brush my teeth. I swear I’m never again buying a toothbrush that’s an exact replica of his hard cock.
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Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused
Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused when I emerged from the bathroom naked, purring that I wanted
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If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to
If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to blunt the scratch of it across your ass, you might want to stay focused on the whole “lick, wipe, lick, wipe” order of the event chain.
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Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise
Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise to publish the following hint: “Tired of sleeping on the wet spot? Keep a hair dryer plugged in next to the bed. One minute on high is all it takes to dry that spot up so you can sleep easy.”
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Dinosaurs Don’t Make Good Pets
Why don’t dinosaurs make good pets?
Because they’re dead.
