My dentist must think I’m incredibly gullible; he keeps trying to sell me a bridge.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Came out of the closet
While the police are wrongly referring to it as an aborted attempt to rob a convenience store, I couldn’t be prouder that I finally came out of the closet with my pantyhose fetish.
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If Loving You Is Wrong
If loving you is wrong, then baby, it goes a long way towards explaining the concussion and crushed left testicle.
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It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the
It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the sexual problems in my marriage and suggest to my wife that maybe we should have an open relationship and have sex with other people. Her response of “THANK YOU, GOD!!!!” sure didn’t help.
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It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
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It’s Up a Fairway
A guy came to the doctor, asking if he could help get a golf ball out of his ass.
“I don’t think I can. It’s up a fairway.”
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I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
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Take on an Empty Stomach
Doctor: “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed you last month?”
Me: “It says to take on an empty stomach, so no, I haven’t had the chance.”
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I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close,
I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
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What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
