I bet those thunderstorm relaxation CDs wouldn’t be as restful if you actually lived deep in the rainforest and had to constantly fight off the urge to get up and check if your patio furniture cushions were getting wet.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
-
A commercial just warned me not to buy their product if I have a
A commercial just warned me not to buy their product if I have a bowel blockage. I was surprised because I didn’t think plungers needed advertising.
-
They Prefer to Eat Out
Why don’t lesbians ever get their pizza delivered? They prefer to eat out.
-
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right decision to meet with your doctor about your sex addiction than your masturbating to the breast-self-exam pamphlet in the waiting room.
-
A Stroke at Any Time
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
-
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
-
Bears and Bees: An Unlikely Connection
What would bears be without bees?
Ears
-
Sometimes I think my man just looks at me as a sex toy. A hot,
Sometimes I think my man just looks at me as a sex toy. A hot, wet, squirmy, stand-upsex-in-the-shower, reverse cowgirl sex toy.
-
Wasted Opportunity: The Lawyer Bus Joke
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with one empty seat?
A wasted opportunity.
-
Lesbians and Mandates: A Rejection of Control
Why don’t lesbians like being told what to do?
They don’t like mandates.
