A poet once asked “What’s in a name?” as a way of teaching others to not make superficial judgments. Still, if the name is “Mother Fucking Douche Bag Asswipe III,” I think it would be safe to make at least a few assumptions.
Meh Thoughts
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Insufficient Funds
Banks should do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled.
This is the fifth one I’ve been to that says Insufficient Funds.
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It Folded
After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.
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Hemorrhoids vs Asteroids
The fact that “hemorrhoids” aren’t called “asteroids” is a major missed opportunity for science, health, and the English language.
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All of the seats were already taken
Unfortunately, I showed up late to the kleptomaniacs’ conference.
Needless to say, all of the seats were already taken. -
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
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My parents always said I’d end up unemployed and living in their basement.
My parents always said I’d end up unemployed and living in their basement. Well, I guess I showed them! By the way, thanks for the cookies and milk, Aunt Mary!
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Football is a game of inches — much like naked limbo.
Football is a game of inches — much like naked limbo.
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Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper
I couldn’t sleep last night because I realized Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have the same middle names.
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Waldo: Worth It or Just a Rip-Off?
I think I got ripped off.
I just paid $15 for the “Where’s Waldo” audio book.
