My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…
But if I’m gonna have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Your Whole Post Is Urined
I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
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Always Pushing Me Around
Ever since I got a wheelchair, my wife’s been so rude to me.
Always pushing me around and talking behind my back.
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It Made My Earring
I went to a store where they use explosives to create jewelry.
As I entered there was a loud “bang.” It made my earring.
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Two Dead Dogs
Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
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A Stroke at Any Time
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
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Failed Sex Ed
Bobby and Jack got their report cards from school and found they failed sex ed…
Bobby told Jack, “I’m so angry, I want to kick Ms. Williams in the nuts!”
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Not a Single Piece of Straight Wood
Happy Pride Month to Home Depot!
There isn’t a single piece of straight wood in that place.
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I Think It’s Nuts
The instructor in my self-defense class said that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
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Spilled the Beans
I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society.
They really didn’t like it when I spilled the beans.
