Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Seeing Someone on the Side

    My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.

  • On the One Hand But On the Other

    I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

  • Bounty on Me Head

    A pirate walks into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head. The bartender asks, “What’s with the roll of paper towels on your head?”

    The pirate says, “There’s Bounty on me head.”

  • Nearly Met Jesus

    Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.

    Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!

  • It Tastes Like Ass

    If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.

    It tastes like ass.

  • Not Remotely Funny

    I told a joke on a Zoom meeting and no one laughed.

    It turns out I’m not remotely funny.

  • Is a Finger in the Ass Really Necessary

    We have X-rays to see bones, ultrasounds to see babies, and an MRI to see the brain.

    Is a finger in the ass really necessary for a prostate exam?

  • My Sock Fell Off

    My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent…

    So, I woke him up at 2am to tell him my sock fell off and then again at 4 to tell him I needed to pee.

  • We Don’t Serve Food Here

    A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink…

    The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

  • I Could See Myself Working There

    They’re building a mirror factory in my town.

    I could see myself working there.

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