I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements. In fact, when I’m not videoconferencing or web-chatting, I find myself disappointed at not being able to say, “Stop staring at my tits, you moron.”
Meh Thoughts
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After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my
After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.
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Since when did Target security start conducting strip searches in their restrooms?
Since when did Target security start conducting strip searches in their restrooms? Almost made me late getting back from lunch.
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Rolling Down Hills in Tires
I had a great childhood. One of my favorite things was to roll down hills in tires.
Those were the Goodyears.
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The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
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Missile Sites Happy to See Him
As the F-14 screamed through the desert air, the pilot eyed the rising launcher ramps and wondered yet again if the missile sites were a genuine threat or merely happy to see him.
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The good news: I passed my sobriety test!
The good news: I passed my sobriety test! The bad news: I was so happy, I tried to hug the cop and I got tased.
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He Takes Things Personally
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally!
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No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out
No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out my tits during the meal. I clearly heard him say he wanted milk with his coffee.
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Paraplegic Strip Club
The other day I went to a paraplegic strip club.
The place was crawling with pussy.
