My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey Mouse bobblehead. I maintain that with all that alcohol in my system, it looked exactly like a butt plug.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Be a Pet Fish
I think it would be great to be a pet fish, except for that part where they taste their floating poop to see if it’s food.
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“conditions in the time it takes to rub one out
“conditions in the time it takes to rub one out.”
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Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?
Why don’t blind people like to skydive?
Because it scares the dog.
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Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat”
Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat” — like I say I want a nice girl but leave off “who’s hot, rich and into butt stuff.”
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Two things: 1) HDTV is not “Hard Dick TV.” 2) Costco doesn’t
Two things: 1) HDTV is not “Hard Dick TV.” 2) Costco doesn’t like it when you bring a vibrator to look at HDTVs.
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There are no three words in the English language sexier or more
There are no three words in the English language sexier or more romantic than those three that every woman longs to hear a man say: “I’d hit that!”
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Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for
Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for that shit. *massive bong rip*
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Orthopedic Shoes: From Overrated to Essential!
I always thought orthopedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
