Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I’d truly like to be. ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, Jilly G. would be deep-throating me.
Meh Thoughts
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Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to that boy I used to date in school.
Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to that boy I used to date in school. Then I remember moving the body and weighing it down with cinder blocks so it would never come to the surface.
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Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper
I couldn’t sleep last night because I realized Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have the same middle names.
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One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a
One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a shower. We’re not sure if he’s life-guarding or just amazed about how brave we are.
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Suddenly there are all these reality TV shows about people with dozens of kids and how
Suddenly there are all these reality TV shows about people with dozens of kids and how they manage to go about their days. Shouldn’t at least one of them be called “The Eighteenth Century”?
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I overheard two young women talking, and one looked at me and said, “If I were 50 and
I overheard two young women talking, and one looked at me and said, “If I were 50 and still single, I would do that guy.” I guess that makes me bucket-licious.
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Apparently the entreaty, “But Honey, it was just *GAY* porn!”
Apparently the entreaty, “But Honey, it was just *GAY* porn!” doesn’t earn you a reprieve.
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We’ll See
My daughter and I are getting glasses today. And after that? We’ll see.
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The doctor says I’m allergic to artificial flowers.
The doctor says I’m allergic to artificial flowers. I asked him for a cure and he prescribed me a placebo.
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she’s saying, “Look what I can do that you can’t
she’s saying, “Look what I can do that you can’t.”
