I’ll never forget my grandfather’s last words to me:
“Stop shaking that ladder, you little jerk!”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Started to See a Little
I said to my wife, “I want to marry another woman.” Just to see her reaction.
On the first day, I saw nothing. Then on the second day, I still saw nothing. On the third day, I started to see a little with my left eye.
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My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of
My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of weight to my theories that shrubs are just dog magazines.
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It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
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20 minutes looking for a golf ball
“What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
“I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.” -
Not Enough Sand for Legal Troubles
What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
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One of your snakes is digesting a rat
The worst part about being Medusa wouldn’t be turning people to stone on sight, but rather the unavoidable bad-hair days when one of your snakes is digesting a rat.
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Making Headlines Everywhere
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines everywhere!
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It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
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(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the
(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the Golden Rule. If you enjoy receiving anal sex, for example, it would be wise to get permission before you “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
