At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash, plumbers to look at their clogged drain, or investment bankers for stock tips. I wonder if porn stars have people pestering them at parties to pretend to deliver pizza or make that fuck-face look they all do on the DVD covers. I know I would.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you
Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you thinking about right now?” RIGHT answer: “Not much. just how much I love you.” CORRECT answer: “How much I love you giving it to Taylor Swift with a Hello Kitty strap-on in a kiddie pool full of tapioca pudding in my fantasies.”
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A Friendly Reminder
A friendly reminder: anal sex requires no less than a butt load of lubricant.
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I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge
I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge throbbing cock, but it’s just too damn hard.
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Smothered Chicken
As my husband ordered the smothered chicken, I thought to myself, “Boy, it sure took a sick bastard to discover the meat had a special flavor when oxygen-deprived.”
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Tonight’s forecast: Overnight highs in the mid 70s with mostly
Tonight’s forecast: Overnight highs in the mid 70s with mostly cloudy skies and a 60% chance of me cornholing your sister.
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The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
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Drive-Thru Speaker Fixed
I told one of my HMO patients to go get a tonsillectomy, and now he’s mad because he thought I said “appendectomy” and got his appendix removed instead. I guess I should really look into getting my drive-thru speaker fixed.
